


Restricted

by moistlouissandwich



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Complete, Elounor, F/M, Gay, Lirry - Freeform, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Smut, Unrequited Love, larry - Freeform, solo career AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-01-16 08:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1338565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moistlouissandwich/pseuds/moistlouissandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis's life comes to a halt when he is forced to go into 'organic rehab'. Meaning his management team hides him from the world in some tiny ass town with a 5K population and no mall or club until they can address his 'identity crisis'. Louis doesn't really care about any of it until he meets a green eyed beauty working at a bakery in the small town. As the boy flips Louis's world upside down, Louis realizes he would do anything for Harry, give anything. Even if that meant sacrificing his career.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Decisions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IronLiam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronLiam/gifts).



> Follow me on twitter :) @mylouissandwich

“NO! Harry, I mean it!!” Louis screamed for what felt like the hundredth time. When was Harry going to get it? Louis couldn’t be persuaded to do every little thing that mop-headed teenager tried to make him do! He wasn’t going to sign any contract and he sure as hell wasn’t going to sign one that meant he’d have to hide his feelings for Harry.

“Lou, please. I know it sucks, but it’s not forever. Your manager is right. It’s what’s best for your career and I won’t be the thing that jeopardizes your success.” Harry wore that sad expression he sometimes did when they fought. Sometimes his face was just blank. Louis noticed though, he noticed how Harry never got mad at him. No matter how loud Louis was or how unreasonable, Harry never raised his voice. He simply watched Louis quietly until he had said what he wanted to say. Never blinking or sighing or treating Louis like the drama queen everyone (himself included) knew him to be. It was the little things like this that had made Louis Tomlinson, the 21 year old pop star, fall in love with the curly headed baker from Holmes Chapel.

Louis sighed as he absorbed Harry’s words and tried with all he had to see things from management’s point of view. How could he abandon Harry like that? How could he let his career come before love? Louis always prided himself on his high esteem for love and commitment; could he really give up his basic principles for something as petty as fame? The answer was no. One hundred percent no. But he would, not for the sake of his career, but for the sake of the owner of the emerald eyes that bore into his own orbs. He knew this was what Harry wanted; he also knew Harry would blame himself if they came out and Louis’s career was affected. With another deep sigh, Louis sagged his head in defeat. Which was a common occurrence when he was put up against the undoubtedly God-like Harry Styles.

“Okay…” he uttered, a barely audible whisper. When he didn’t receive a response, Louis looked up just in time to see Harry closing the small distance between the two of them before his lips came cascading down upon Louis’s. Louis could feel the desperation and gratitude in Harry’s kiss as he moved his mouth expertly against Louis’s. Louis’s head began to go fuzzy and his worries about management and having to have a “beard” seemed to melt away as Harry gently licked his way into Louis’s mouth. Harry moaned as he was granted access and Louis leaned forward to grind his crotch into Harry’s.

“Shi- Lou- I love you…. so.. much.” Harry managed as Louis pinned him against the nearest wall in the large hotel room they were both currently staying at.

“Mmmmm you’re only saying that because you got your way… again.” Louis breathed against his neck with a slight chuckle, continuing his slow torture with his hips. Harry gently pushed Louis forward a little, preventing him from continuing with his humping escapades; he let out a whine. Harry didn’t smile though; a serious look had taken over his features.

“You believe me though, don’t you? No matter what choice you make, I can’t stop loving you. It’s physically impossible Louis. You’re part of me.” Harry stared into Louis’s eyes, which normally made Louis really uncomfortable. He didn’t like the feeling that everyone was watching his every move. It was different with Harry though, he was mesmerized by his deep green spheres and gave a slight nod to signal his understanding of Harry’s feelings for him. Honestly, he didn’t know why Harry loved him so much. At first he had considered that it had been his name being on seventy five percent of all the billboards in the US and England, but once he realized Harry didn’t even know who he was, he had had a hard time trying to ascertain why exactly the boy seemed to enjoy him so much. He wasn’t complaining by any means, he knew Harry loved him and that was enough for Harry it seemed. Harry smiled, seeming satisfied with Louis’s reply and leaned in to continue their earlier endeavors when a knock came at the door.


	2. The Beginning

_8 months earlier_

”You’re simply an ace guy aren’t you Carl. Honestly, I don’t know how I’d make it without you.” Louis snapped sarcastically. His manager merely gazed back indifferently; he couldn’t care less if Louis didn’t like him, that much was obvious. It was for the best seeing as Louis really hated the guy. Why did Louis feel like he got majorly jipped as far as manager’s went? He was certain it was just a second ago he was scrolling instagram to find picture after picture of his celebrity friends “chilling at the pool” or “playing some ball” with their managerial bffs. Louis sighed, this sort of thing was to be expected with his luck. He wasn’t ungrateful for all Carl had done for him, he just wished he hadn’t been stuck with such a boring wart of a human being. 

It didn’t help that Carl was the one to inform him that he would be relocated for the next 8 months to the middle of butt fucked Egypt. Not that Egypt wasn’t somewhere he’d rather be. He’d rather be anywhere that wasn’t Holmes Chapel. What kind of a name was that anyways? Holmes Chapel. Hooooolllllmes Chapeeeeeel. Louis rolled the name around on his tongue. He couldn’t help but imagine a bunch of detectives running around in church robes and giggled to himself for his imagination. Carl gave him a sideways glance and rolled his eyes dramatically from the driver’s seat.

”Don’t roll your eyes at me Carl, you’re the one forcing me into solitary confinement for 8 months after I’ve done literally nothing wrong.” Louis can’t help the venom in his tone, it’s seemingly always present as he converses with his manager these days. Hell, it’s there in all his conversations. Louis is a feisty young adult who has a great ass and won’t take shit from anyone. Carl glances Louis’s way with a look of annoyance before redirecting his attention to the road. 

”Nothing wrong, eh? Of course you would say that… selfish prat.” Carl whispered the last part so Louis almost missed it. Almost. He chose to ignore the jab for today, curious as to what wrongdoing Carl was so certain Louis was guilty of. 

”Yeah, I would Caaaaaarl, I’m a saint.” Louis replied, dragging out the “ar” sound in Carl’s name the way Louis knew he hated. “But since you’re so sure I’m guilty of a crime deserving of such a god awful punishment, please enlighten me. With what am I being charged, exactly?” Louis internally applauded himself for being thoroughly dramatic and waited for Carl’s reply.

”Louis, we’ve discussed this. You have no sense of caution. You are a highly monitored celebrity and you’ve got to act in a way that we can plan the reaction of the public. You going to clubs every night and flirting with men and women alike does nothing to preserve your pre-teen safe image. No mom is going to buy her 12 year old daughter ‘that one gay kid’s CD’.” Louis cringed at the comment, Carl noticed and with a sigh, continued: “You need to wind down, learn how to be less flamboyant and… well you know.”

”Gay. Go on say it Carl, you want me to be less gay.”

”I never said that Lou-”

”Save it Carl. You don’t owe me any favors.” Louis slumped in his seat, thinking the conversation was over, when Carl spoke up one last time,

”I know it’s hard for you kid. And I know it’s not your fault… Just a bit more calm would be nice. At least until the team can figure this whole thing out.”

Louis scoffed at Carl’s optimism. He didn’t need his positivity, and he certainly didn’t need his sympathy. Just as Louis was finishing his analysis of their conversation they pulled into the driveway of Louis’s new home for the next 8 months. His manager barely managed to stifle a giggle as Louis gaped.

"You have _**GOT**_ to be fucking with me Carl."


	3. Settled

Carl was still laughing as Louis finished unpacking his massive amount of luggage. It wasn’t that the room was shit, it was… livable. Scratch that, the whole house was shit. Louis couldn’t believe this was the best they could find for him. Louis wasn’t usually one to whine about less than perfect circumstances, but this was a bit ridiculous. Maybe they could build him something… Louis shook his head. He really needed to work on not letting his success go to his head. Damn those screaming girls and their effect on his ability to remain humble. He was usually so good about those sort of things.

”If you could shut the hell up, that’d be fantastic” Louis spat at Carl. Noticing how serious Louis was, he coughed and left him to finish. Louis rolled his eyes and looked around his bedroom. It was the master bedroom and therefore the largest in the house but Louis couldn’t help but notice that it was smaller than the bathroom in his house in London. And his house in America… However, he thought to himself that the house had a certain charm to it. It was located near a thin stream with trees lining one side and a small bridge across connecting to a grass field. He figured he could catch up on some songwriting or thinking out there. The house itself was small but clean. It was obviously old, but they had refurbished the inside and decorated to meet Louis’s modern tastes. He couldn’t say that he would have been completely miserable had they stuck to the historical theme, but he gratefully accepted what his staff provided him with as always. He was no prat, contrary to what Carl believed. He knew he was insanely fortunate for what life had given him. Winning the X-Factor had been a complete shock and he was eternally thankful for everyone who helped him get there. He wouldn’t make them regret what they did for him.

After a little bit of searching through the house and making sure he knew where everything was, he went out to find Carl. He discovered him leaning up against the side of the house, cigarette in hand. Louis’s nose wrinkled in disgust. How could anyone willingly inhale that poison? Noticing Louis, Carl straightened up.

“Right well, Dan will be by to drop off your car in an hour or so. If there’s nothing else you need, I suppose I’ll be off.” Louis sighed and walked towards him with his hand extended. There was no point in parting ways on bad terms. Louis mumbled,

“Thanks for everything Carl…” Carl’s eyes snapped up at his words, slowly extending his hand towards Louis’s.

“Yeah, well uh, of course. Um… call me if you need- or whatever… Yeah er- bye.” Louis snorted at Carl’s attempt to be nice to him. Carl’s face twisted with embarrassment as he skulked off towards his car. Louis was bent over with laughter when he called after him.

“IT’S BEEN REAL _CAAAAAARRRRL!” _Louis continued to laugh hysterically at Carl’s expense until he climbed into his car after another glare Louis’s way and sped down the long dirt driveway. Louis sighed and wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes. Great. Now what was he supposed to do? After a little while of simply leaning against his prison cell he decided he would watch TV until his car arrived so he could go exploring in town.__

Just as Louis had finished his third episode of Desperate House Wives, Dan pulled in with a tow truck and Louis’s SUV attached.

“Took you long enough!” Louis called playfully. Dan was cute and around Louis’s age but totally straight. This only made Louis act more flirty than he usually would around a cute boy because he loved the way Dan’s cheeks would flush and he would get all embarrassed when Louis said something slightly over the line. As he approached, he smacked Dan on the ass eliciting a yelp from the slightly older boy.

“Sorry Lou…” Dan’s cheeks were already bright red. “I had a bit of trouble finding this place.” Louis smiled at Dan’s shyness, god the things he could do to that boy.

“S’alright gorgeous. I won’t punish you too hard.” Louis winked and Dan flushed and looked away. Louis was sure Dan had some gay in him, but Dan’s family was so religious Louis was sure he would never even consider mentioning it. Besides, he didn’t actually care about Dan. He was just hot, like all the other guys Louis wanted to fuck. Louis wasn’t huge into attachment. You had to have Jesus Christ himself in your bloodline to make Louis stay the whole night; which Louis was pretty sure Jesus didn’t have any kids. Dan was staring at him with a weird expression that was making Louis uncomfortable.

“Staring is impolite, Danny boy. Take a picture, or better yet, turn on MTV.” Dan chuckled at Louis’s joke.

“Who says I haven’t already?” Dan’s eyes go wide as if he hadn’t meant to let that slip. Louis’s suspicions are confirmed when Dan continues nervously, “Not that I- I mean everyone has seen- you’re a very nice- I should j-just go…” Dan hastily climbs back into his truck after having already untethered Louis’s car from the truck and starting the engine quickly. “S-see you in eight months L-lou.” 

“Sure thing babe. Don’t 'come out' without me.” Louis adds with a wink. Dan drives away with a deep shade of red painting his cheeks. Louis is glad he can trust his team, otherwise his flirtations would have gotten him in a lot of trouble by now. It’s nice to know Dan thinks about him, but he’s a little unnerved that he TV stalks him.

Louis shrugs and heads back inside, deeming it too late to go exploring for tonight. After watching a little more TV and eating a snack from his already fully stocked kitchen, he gets ready for bed and climbs under the soft thick comforter. He sighs into his pillow and drifts off with thoughts of Dan dressed in all leather as Louis practices all the ways he can make him turn that pretty shade of pink.


	4. Meeting

“SHIT! DAMN! FUCK! ASS! BUGGER BLOODY MOTHER FUCKING JESUS!” Louis cursed after stubbing his toe for what seemed to be the seventy five millionth time that morning. All the god forsaken hallways were so narrow and everything was so crammed. Louis had been there less than twenty four hours and he was already one hundred percent certain he would dead by nightfall. 

He took a deep breath and continued preparing his incredibly healthy breakfast of bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, fried potatoes and a chocolate shake. Some would say he was rather fond of carbs. Others that he had a death wish. Whatever their thoughts, Louis was going to enjoy his horrendously hazardous meal for two reasons: one, he’d read somewhere that ham was good for the soul and two, he was a grown ass human being who could what he wanted, so when management or his parents or anyone forced him into an unpleasant situation, (much like his current living arrangements) he would would prepare himself this very same breakfast as a sort of ‘fuck you, I do what I want.’ While this seemed to satisfy him he couldn’t deny the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he was punishing himself more than anyone, but Louis was always a professional at ignoring the voice of reason. 

After he had finished his meal and left the kitchen in a complete disaster-zone state, he went upstairs to prep for his day in the community gathering area. He refused to acknowledge such a dinky set of buildings as anything else let alone an entire town. He was feeling thoroughly sassy. 

After a while of searching through his closet, Louis found himself torn on what outfit he wanted to shock the world with. He was privy to a more exciting look such as the extremely tight colored jeans paired with the dark long sleeve button up and topped off with suspenders but he realized he couldn’t stick out too much and risk the press. He decided instead to go with dark blue skinny jeans and black t shirt covered in a fur lined jacket seeing as it was cold as balls in England at this time. He finished off the outfit with messy fringe hair and converse and grabbed his keys off the counter. 

On his way into the heart of Holmes Chapel, one of his favorite songs came on the radio and he couldn’t help but belt along with the tune. 

“WELL SOMETIMES I GO OUT BY MYSELF, yes I do, AND I LOOK ACROSS THE WATER ER ER ER” He began to ad lib and mess around with the song. He noticed his car was rather chilly after a while even with the heat turned all the way up and as he continued with his obnoxious singing quickly glanced around to find the source of the problem. He quickly realized when he noticed an old couple, a few young children and an older boy on a skateboard laughing at him from the sidewalk that his passenger window had been open the entire time. 

“Ehhhh fuck off will you.” Louis mumbled as he quickly rolled up the window and turned the radio off. He had just pulled up to a hardware shop and figured he might as well see what kind of shit these loons had to sell. Perhaps he would buy some rope and duct tape just to see how the sellers would react. Louis was settled on this plan when he noticed a bobbing head just up the road from where he was parked. The figure was walking away from him but Louis could make out their outline from where he was seated. They - he, Louis was quite sure it was a male, looked rather tall and fit. At least from where Louis was seated. They also had the most interesting hair that seemed to bob along with the rest of him as he walked. Louis decided he would investigate and turned on his car to slowly follow (not to be mistaken with stalking, Louis was no stalker) (okay so maybe he was a little bit of a stalker) the tall boy for what seemed like ages but was probably only about five minutes or so. The boy hadn’t noticed Louis’s car following him at all before he walked into what looked like a local bakery.

After a few minutes of battling with himself Louis still had not come to a conclusion on whether or not he wanted to go in and see the boy. He knew he was being stupid but he couldn’t help but be apprehensive. He began to talk to himself, 

“I’ll just go in and ask for a muffin or some shit, see what he looks like and get out… But what if he recognizes me? Or worse, what if he’s totally beautiful and completely straight? God I couldn’t handle another Dan… I’ll go though. Yes. I’m going.” Louis began to step out of his car before quickly changing his mind, slamming the door shut again and banging his head on the steering wheel repeatedly, setting his car alarm off. “SHIT shit shit shiiiiiit!!!” Louis panicked and fumbled for the keys to try and end the relentless screeching that was his SUV. When he finally got the keys and turned the alarm off, he leaned back and sighed, closing his eyes. He felt bad for any passerby that had to witness his meltdown and hoped none of them thought he actually needed help. He didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment. Just his luck though, he heard a tap at his passenger window. He groaned and began to roll down the window to snap at the stranger when his eyes connected with two bottomless green ones. The boy began to speak but Louis was lost in his eyes and didn’t catch any of what he said. After a minute he noticed the bouncy hair and tall frame and realized this had been the boy he was stalk- following earlier. He was the most beautiful creature Louis had ever beheld. So much so his chest hurt just looking at him. He began to notice other things, like what looked like flower on his cheek and an apron tied around his neck. So he worked here, at this bakery? The boy cleared his throat, 

“Sir?” Louis snapped back to reality at the voice that embodied sex addressing him. So low and gravelly. God, Louis wanted this boy. 

“Y-yeah. Sorry, I’m a bit out of it. What did you say?” Louis began to regain his composure and with it, his confidence. He batted his eyelashes at the boy and noticed a slight flush as he registered Louis’s advances. Louis smirked.

“I was just wondering if you were alright, you seemed a bit flustered out here but I can tell you’re recovered so I uh, I guess I’ll just leave you to your business.” The taller boy rushed the words out of his mouth as if he’d had half a second to deliver them. He turned around quickly and headed towards the bakery without so much as looking back towards a shocked Louis.

“Wait!” Louis called, the younger boy stopped right before walking inside and turned just so he could hear what Louis was going to say. “What’s your name?” Louis called. Why wouldn’t he come back over and talk to him?

“Harry Styles.” The boy responded curtly and with that, hurried into the bakery. What the fuck?


	5. Chapter 5

Louis’s head was still spinning by the time he got back to his shit hole cottage.

He had sat in his car for a while mulling over the meeting he’d just had before deciding through his mental haze that he was better off driving away. As he ventured through the area his confusion only grew which, in turn, increased his agitation.

Who was this cream colored heathen and how dare he treat Louis in such a way? Did he not realize Louis was a human being, a sexy one at that, who deserved generosity and respect? He was the new guy for fucks sake! He was still running through these thoughts as he pulled into his driveway late into the evening.

He was making faces at himself in his rearview mirror while running his inner monologue before realizing how he must look. Not that it really mattered, his neighbors were certainly older than Jesus Christ himself and he was hot enough to make anyone swoon, no matter what the expression.

Unlike usual though, his thoughts didn’t stay on himself for long as they were continually drawn back to the mystery baker. Beneath all of his narcissism, he worried that he had actually offended the boy, unintentionally of course. He also worried about how upset that possibility made him. Who was the asshole anyways and who the fuck did he think he was messing with Louis Tomlinson’s emotions?

Louis stared out the windshield for a while allowing his frustration to boil before slamming his hands on the steering wheel and scrambling down out of his SUV. He would never enjoy being short.

Once inside, Louis kicked off his shoes, stubbing his toe once again on the door frame sending a new wave of curses out into the universe.

“FUCK YOU TOO, WORLD!” Louis finished his cries and stomped off towards his bedroom, thoroughly ‘over’ the day. He landed on his bed with a dramatic groan and yet another wave of disgruntled protests against his living arrangements. Still, after all his frustrations, Louis found himself drifting off to sleep with thick chocolate curls and orbs of green floating among his thoughts.

Louis awoke to an unfamiliar scent wafting through his home. He sat up abruptly, not realizing how close he was to the edge of the bed before it was too late and he was sprawled across the clean hardwood floor.

Too tired to even acknowledge the absurdity of his bad luck, Louis staggered to his feet, limbs heavy with exhaustion and trudged out of his room towards the smell.

Under normal circumstances, Louis would probably be a bit more alert when sensing a presence in his home. He blames his “throw caution to the wind” attitude on little sleep and a certain aggravatingly attractive local.

As he rounded the corner of his ridiculously narrow hallway, he spots the source of the smell and practically fucking _bursts_ with happiness. Because it’s not the cleaning lady, or an axe murderer, or worse, jehovahs witness. It’s his best mate, Liam and his oldest friend (and probably hottest, Louis couldn’t be an accurate judge though), Eleanor.

“LEEEEEYYYUUUUUUUMMMMM!!!!!” Louis squealed and barreled into the kitchen not so fast that he’s unable to jump bridal style into Liam’s open arms.

Liam chuckled at Louis’s dramatic entrance, which he is certainly used to by now, and set him down so he could greet Eleanor with a warm hug and toothy grin which she hastily returned.

“You look right pleased to see us Lou. Is it really that hellish here?” Eleanor asked sweetly. She may be easy on the eyes, but her personality wasn’t one that knew much complexity, let alone be actually entertaining.

Louis appreciated her friendship all the same, counting her as one of his most loyal and trustworthy companions rather than one of his most fun ones. Sometimes Lou even enjoyed his more boring set of friends over his party animals. But not usually.

“It’s worse than hell El. It’s like hell got bored with being the worst place there is and multiplied itself by 700 and flew in a chariot of fiery torture to the middle of England.” So Louis might have been overdoing it, but what is he if not irrefutably interesting?

“Now I think you’re getting a bit caught up in yourself Lou,” Liam chuckled fondly. God, Louis missed him. “It seems quite peaceful out here, dunnit?”

Louis blinked at Liam trying to remember that he also works for him, he’s not only a mate and therefore it might be mildly inappropriate for Louis to smack him for his endearing stupidity.

Because Louis isn’t peaceful. Yes, sometimes (very rarely), he enjoys his solitude for work related purposes but Louis isn’t just the life of the party, he’s the fucking _soul_ of it. He’s loud and lives life hard and fast and doesn’t slow down to worry about what that means for anyone else because _fuck_ that. Seriously.

“Liam, if you know anything about me or care at all for our dwindling friendship you will retract that statement because I --” Louis is cut off by his doorbell ringing and what the fuck?

His location is supposed to be a secret only those members of his family, closest team and of course, El, were allowed to know. And with Liam and El being the only ones who would bother with him so soon after his arrival, Louis honestly has no idea who could be at his fucking house at 10 in the damn morning.

That is until he glances over at Liam and El who are barely stifling their giggles.

It’s then that he notices the bags on the counter. The bags that had held the scent Louis had awoken to that morning. The bags that had a clear emblem printed on the front, of a certain bakery Louis had stopped by yesterday. A bakery where he’d had an experience with a certain curly haired individual.

Louis eyes narrowed into paper thin slits at the two who had now begun outwardly cackling like hyenas.

“What. Did. You. DO.”


	6. Chapter 6

Louis was still glaring at Liam as he opened the door, privately hoping that if he didn’t look, the person he assumed would be there, wouldn’t be.

He was, of course, without such luck. Harry Styles’ voice (not unlike God’s) rang through Louis small cottage just as he stepped inside.

“Er--” He was unaware this was Louis’s residence, that much was clear. “Is Liam about…?” Louis’s knees went weak because of course Harry was blushing from embarrassment, and what the fuck!!! Why couldn’t Louis keep it together around this boy?? He was mentally slapping the shit out of himself as he tried to hide his irritation with Liam so he could properly flirt Harold’s socks off.

“What, am I not enough for you?” Louis replied cheekily with his most suggestive grin. This spurred another ‘bout of Harry’s blushing which translated to Louis’s rolling stomach. Harry was seriously pretty.

Harry regained his composure quickly before snapping back, “Sorry, but I’m not interested.” Yeah right, Louis rolled his eyes. “Is he around?” Harry repeated.

Grumbling, Louis led Harry into the kitchen where Eleanor and Liam were still red and recovering from their excessive laughter.

“Harold, bro!” Liam called pleasantly before walking over to clap their guest on the back, “So glad you could come, find the place easily enough, yeah?”

Louis never enjoyed Liam’s attempts at awkward small talk. Mostly because Liam remained totally oblivious that all his attempts were, in fact, sensationally awkward. He glanced up at Harry to see if he shared in Louis’s opinions and was surprised to see the curly one smiling wide with two huge indents in his cheeks. Whoa. Louis’s vision went blurry for a second before he realized he’d wanted to make a comment.

“A-HEM” Louis obnoxiously cleared his throat, “and by ‘the place’, you mean ‘my place’, of course.” He added finger quotes around his words as to stress his sarcasm. One could never be too snarky. Harry rolled his eyes at Louis and Louis could just pounce on him because nobody gets away with rolling their eyes at Louis Tomlinson, he was damn adorable. Instead, he found his gaze locked with the back of Harry’s head as he turned away, imagining what it would be like to run his fingers through the chocolate curls that blanketed his head.

Louis was broken out of his stupor by Eleanor’s voice: “Lou, are you even hearing us?” Sensing she was right in her assumption, she repeated herself. “We were just telling you that we ran into Harold here at the bakery in town and thought he might like to join us for brunch? You are new after all. It might be nice to have a friend in town.”

Louis stared at her incredulously. For one: he was famous, and the whole point of this organic rehab bullshit was to not be known by people. To detox. Then again, Harry didn’t seem to have any idea who Louis was and for that, he found himself immensely grateful. And for two: Louis was gay. And Harry was beautiful. Eleanor might not know Louis’s sexuality but she should know well enough that most men outside of Liam are hardly comfortable around him. Instead of pointing out her ignorance, Louis smirked.

“How very considerate of you El, darling. And you as well Li. True friends, you both are.” Louis’s sarcasm was light, he didn’t want to give their new friend any reason to punish his ego anymore than he already had, but he was certain it was just enough for his friends to sense it.

“Speak like Yoda, you do” Harry commented. Louis’s face heated without his consent and okay THAT does NOT happen. It wasn’t even a suggestive comment, and yet, simply having Harry acknowledge him seemed to be enough to transform Louis into a full on tomato.

Liam chuckled fondly, “Yeah, you’ll learn fast that Lou’s quite the dramatic.”

“Lou?” Harry questioned. And oh shit. He forgot to introduce himself. He straightened up, intent on impressing this gorgeous flower if it was the last thing he did.

“Louis William Tomlinson, at your service.” Louis waved his arm in a very regal manner before dipping to the ground in a bow before Harry. Harry giggled at Louis’s antics and Louis’s insides fluttered. God, this must be what heaven feels like. Or meth. Or both. Probably both, times 50. He smiled at Harry and Harry quickly turned away towards Liam. Well, okay then.

“So let’s have at it shall we? I just made this biscuits this morning, and I must say, they turned out wonderfully” Harry beamed. He seemed very proud of his work at the bakery. Louis admired that much more than he would ever admit. And though he tried, honestly he did, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to a naked Harry covered in flour.

Louis thoughts stayed along those lines for the remainder of breakfast and all through their FIFA session on Louis’s flat screen. Eleanor was sitting in the corner reading off Facebook shit nobody cared about while Liam kept reciting movie lines and yelling “JESUS” every time something interesting happened in the game. Harry stayed quiet for the most part except for the few times when Louis’s gaze would drift over to him, just to watch his face, and notice he was peeking over at him from beneath his thick dark lashes.

Louis could definitely get used to Holmes Chapel.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry left late into the evening, but not before bestowing Liam with his number should he ever want to hang out again. Louis couldn't pretend like this didn't irritate him and after he had shut the door behind Harry, ripped the small piece of paper out of Liam's hands.

"Relax Lou, you know I don't roll that way." Liam rolled his eyes and again! With the eye rolling! Louis would have to hold a seminar informing people on just how to respect others.

"One can't be too careful, Leeeyum. I have this awful feeling that many a man has strayed the _straight_ and narrow for that boy."

Eleanor laughed at Louis's concern. "And you're so sure of your lady loving? Who's to say that boy won't kick you out of straight life?" Louis rolled his eyes, she was suuuch an idiot.

"Oh I don't know El, I guess I'm just that macho." Liam was laughing then.

"Yeah the most macho man in all of Europe."

"Shut up, Liam." Louis snapped. Liam went for the dramatic eye roll, only to stop himself and head for the door.

"We love you Lou," he said, tone serious, "don't go too stir crazy yeah? Use his number." Louis smiled softly at his friend,

"Count on it, Li." He sighed "Love you too. Both of you." Eleanor and Liam smiled at him affectionately from the doorway before stepping into the night, closing the door behind them. Louis watched their tail lights fade off down the road before groaning loudly and spinning in circles really fast in the middle of his living room until he felt nauseous. Collapsing on his couch he held up his phone along with the number that felt like £100 in his hand.

Entering the digits, he rolled over on his side and stared at the new contact. Would it be too soon to text him? Yes, too soon. And not his style at all. He never texted anyone first! He rarely even replied to others messages.

What was he even doing? This trip wasn't suppose to change him, only relax him. And yet, from the moment he saw Harry, his old self seems like a total stranger.

Louis shook his head, this was insane. He strolled over to his kitchen and grabbed a bag of mini muffins from Harry's bakery and the gallon of milk. Climbing the stairs, he remembered how proud Harry had been when he mentioned making these desserts. He smiled at the memory, maybe change wasn't so bad.


	8. Chapter 8

Louis awoke early two weeks after he'd last seen Liam with an intense pressure on his sinuses. He went to take a deep breath through his nose to clear the sensation only to find his nose clogged. "Of-fucking- _course_ " he grumbled. 

He stumbled down the stairs into his kitchen, opening all the cupboards in hopes that his team was wise enough to stock him with at least some basic medication. After searching all the low shelves he could reach, he gave up; how stupid Louis was to assume they had the brain mass to consider his health. And height. Grabbing his keys and jacket, he set off for his car.

He hadn't talked to Harry much since he showed up that day for Liam, but he'd be a cold blooded liar if he claimed to not have hung around the bakery quite a lot, looking for excuses to ask Harry questions, or bother him about nothing in general. At least Harry hadn't seemed to mind, but Louis still couldn't work up the courage to text him or ask him over.

Once he reached what appeared to be the only pharmacy type building in town Louis turned the key off in the ignition and scrambled out, nearly tripping on the curb. What was with his lack of grace lately?

He searched the aisles half heartedly; his eyes drifted close on more than one occasion. He had almost fallen asleep leaning against a shelf when someone tapping his shoulder brought him back to the living.

Lazily, Louis turned around to look up at the person who greeted him with wide green eyes and a concerned tilt to his mouth.

"Harry!" Louis shouted, completely awake. Realizing his inappropriate outburst he quickly made to correct himself, "I mean uh- Harold. Yes... hello. Can I- uh... help you?" Harry smiled, the concern momentarily erased from his features.

"No, 'm fine. Just wondering why you're sleeping on a shelf."

Louis glanced at his surroundings, finally seeming to understand that he does, in fact, look strange. "Actually I um-" Louis straightened up. Where was his confidence?! "Actually, _Harold_ " Harry's nose scrunched up at the use of his full name "I am deathly ill and in need of medical attention. Is there any Mucinex anywhere in the god forsaken town?"

"It's not god forsaken..." Harry's mood shifts and Louis tries to backtrack without destroying his dignity. The last thing he wants is to hurt Harry but he has a _reputation_ to uphold. Or build, in this case.

"That's not what I meant Curly. I just feel awful and I'm whiny when I'm feeling awful." He smiles and adds, "Which is deserved, don't you think?" Louis looks up through his lashes at Harry, hoping to lift the mood. He seems to be successful as Harry sighs and turns his lips up in an affectionate smile. Louis loved that smile. Also when Harry was laughing, and when he was scolding Louis. Basically, Louis loved everything about Harry. And Louis had no idea what the fuck to do about it.

"Here, there should be some sinus medication two aisles over." Harry grabbed Louis wrist to lead him to the location, which was absolutely necessary due to the electricity that flowed through Louis's arm where Harry was latched on.

After Louis had checked out, (which, to his delight, Harry had stood and waited with him) he found himself on the curb with a nervous Harry and a pounding headache.

Louis was in a real fix here, on one hand he needed to lay down and try to sleep off this sickness. On the other, leaving Harry here looking bored and expectant was the last thing he wanted to do. Louis sighed in defeat, he had a feeling any decision involving Harry would end up similar to this one.

"Would you, maybe- and feel free to say no!! But would you like to- uh..." Harry's eyes widened causing Louis to trail off. He realized he couldn't do it. For all his confidence, Harry rendered him absolutely speechless.

"...come over?" Harry finishes Louis's thought for which he is eternally grateful. Louis nods eagerly, too relieved that his thought was completed to worry whether Harry would say yes or not. Harry chuckled at Louis's exuberance. "Well if you're going to be so cute about it!" Harry's mouth clamps shut as if he hadn't meant to say that. Louis went almost as red as Harry and hurried to end the awkward silence.

"Psh. I'm always cute. Now hurry up, I'm absolutely _famished_ " Louis opened the door for Harry, smacking him square on the ass as he climbed in. "No need to be embarrassed around me Curly. I don't judge" Louis grinned a wide cheeky grin at Harry's now almost purple cheeks.

The ride home was full of Harry's happy chatter about bakery life as Louis was feeling rather drained from the mornings escapades coupled with his melting brain. He nodded and smiled at all the appropriate times which seemed to satisfy Harry because he made no indication of stopping his endless monologue.

When they finally pulled into Louis's driveway Harry had just finished explaining the extensive and "extremely complicated" process of mixing fresh dough every morning.

"Hate to interrupt you there, chatterbox, but we're here" Looking up, Harry seemed only slightly embarrassed.

"Oh... Sorry. I didn't mean to- to talk your ear off..." Louis sighed. This boy had a serious insecurity problem.

"Hey, hey." Louis gently nudged Harry's chin, encouraging him to meet his eyes. "It's nice, even I get tired of listening to myself sometimes." He smirked, trying to play it off lightly. Harry takes the bait and chuckles softly before climbing out of Louis's car.

Louis watches as Harry trots up the stairs to his cottage; the thought that plants itself in Louis's mind is so beautiful it's almost painful. Unable to think about it any further, Louis settles with one fact:

He could definitely get used to this view.


	9. Chapter 9

Settled on the couch - with a warm blanket and hot soup, courtesy of Harry Styles - Louis and Harry were ready to begin their day decidedly consisting of horrendously unhealthy snacks, ridiculously cheesy movies, and copious amounts of Mucinex. For Lou at least. 

Louis had discovered that Harry was actually quite the little nurse. He'd had his tongue pulled out and pressed with a spoon while Harry examined the back of his throat with a flashlight, been wrapped in his warmest blanket after being told to change into sweats and a jumper, and Harry'd prepared him a can of his favorite soup to which Harry claimed to know was his favorite all along while Louis emphatically insisted he just had incredible luck. As they laughed, Louis watched Harry's eyes crinkle at the corners, and the way his inner cheeks would show as his lips pulled out for an even wider grin. He noticed the brightness of Harry's green eyes becoming more obvious as tears of laughter sprung to the corners, and the way his ears turned slightly red just at the tops when he caught Louis staring at him. 

There was an awkward cough and beat of silence before Louis spoke up, "Soooooo..." he struggled, "What would you like to watch Curlcifur?" 

"Curlcifur??" Harry questioned. Louis blushed, 

"Yeah, I thought I'd try it out... Like it?" 

"Not a bit." Harry grinned. Louis grinned back and Harry abruptly turned away. 

"Well okay then..." Louis mumbled under his breath. 

"What was that?" Louis looked startled, not meaning for Harry to hear him, let alone acknowledge it.

"Pardon?" Ignorant card. Best call. 

"You said something, I didn't catch it?" 

"Oh- um. Nothing. Just talking to myself." Harry didn't look convinced, but didn't push it further. Louis breathed a sigh of relief; if Harry noticed _that_ too, he gave no indication. 

Harry followed Louis into the living room, but not standing when Louis moved to sit down. 

"Care to join me?" Louis questioned, deciding against any new nickname attempts. 

"Gotta pick a film first, where are all your films anyway?" Harry was walking towards the entertainment center as he asked and seemed to spot the DVD pile on his own. Sifting through the pile, he stopped three times, looking at the cover of each film with great consideration on his face. Louis couldn't help but wish he knew exactly what was going on inside his head when he did things like this. Or at any other time. Louis simply wanted to _know_ Harry in ways that no one else did. 

After a few more moments of sifting, Harry stopped on a DVD and immediately tossed it into the already open disc player. After closing the machine and sauntering back over to Louis in what could be considered the most sexy gait a person could possibly possess, Louis grabbed the control and switched the TV on. When the opening title song for The Titanic started playing, Louis groaned loud and obnoxiously so Harry could feel his pain. This movie was the epitome of crap film. 

"What's your deal?" Harry looked at him sideways and Louis realized: Harry was being completely serious. He _wanted_ to watch this film. He _liked_ this monstrosity! This fact and this fact alone (well maybe paired with Harrys heartbreakingly beautiful eyeballs) was the reason Louis decided to grin and bare it. He shrugged,

"Nothin', my stomach took a turn is all." He faked his best grimace to simulate his pain and fought the urge to smile and take this boy on the living room floor at the concern etched on his face. 

"Are you sure I can be here??? I don't want to intrude, I didn't think you really all that sick and I-" Louis reached over to smack his hand over Harry's mouth,

"Shut _up_ Harry. I want you here. Truly." Louis gave him a small smile, genuine this time which Harry reluctantly returned. At their close proximity, a shiver racked Louis's body. Harry seemed to misinterpret this for his illness and hurried to pull him closer.

"Here, we'll share body heat. That should help keep you warm, yeah?" Louis nodded a little to enthusiastically and looked away to avoid awkward eye contact. He was now pressed tight up against Harry's side with a long arm wrapped around him in his thick blanket. It was seriously fucking perfect and Louis had no idea how he got so lucky. 

Silence ensued, allowing them to both watch the movie when Louis became aware of a predicament. His hand had somehow found a way to Harrys upper thigh, and Harry hadn't chosen to move it. The problem though, was that just above Louis's hand he noticed the fabric of Harry's crotch being stretched rather tightly against what appeared to be a decent stiffy.

Louis's face went completely hot as he contemplated his options. Should he touch it? No! Of course not, he wasn't crazy and Harry wasn't even gay! Or was he...? Should he ask? No... That would ruin the moment and Harry might catch on. No, this needed to be spontaneous. Louis would test the waters, maybe move his hand up a little higher... 

As he did just that, (barely moving enough to be noticeable) he searched Harry's face for signs of protest. What Louis found, seemed to be an obvious faked expression of indifference. Louis could tell it was fake by the way Harry's eyes were trained straight ahead as to not meet Louis's eyes but he wasn't looking at the television. Also, Louis noticed a single bead of sweat rolling down the side of Harry's temple. All he'd have to do was reach out...

Louis took a chance and moved his face right next to the side of (the still fake ignoring him (rather badly)) Harry's face and allowed his tongue to glide over the area where the sweat had fallen.

Harry's breath hitched and all of a sudden Louis found himself pinned beneath the longer boy on the opposite end of the couch. He barely had time to register before hot lips pressed against his and a hard pelvis met his own. It didn't take long for him to regain his focus and he quickly opted to bury his hands in Harry's hair and push back against him. This brought a low moan from somewhere deep in Harry's throat that shot straight to Louis's groin. Harry's tongue was hot and insistent upon his own as they seemed to be fighting with their mouths. Louis grabbed Harry's bottom lip between his teeth and reared back, bucking his hips into Harry's and sucking the large lip into his own mouth. They continued their passionate exchange for only a few moments before Harry sat up abruptly.

"I-I'm so sorry. I-ju-I just I have to go." Harry rolled off the couch and grabbed his jacket before Louis could even blink. It wasn't until Harry was out the door that he even noticed he hadn't been breathing.

In his daze he remembered he'd driven Harry to his house. He ran outside to find him, only to discover he'd already disappeared. Louis stood on the deck with his runny nose and swollen lips, rubbing the back of his neck wondering what the fuck just happened.


	10. Chapter 10

Louis spent almost the entire rest of the week replaying the exchange with Harry on his couch. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what had made him run off the way he had.

Harry was gay, that was quite obvious from his gait and way he obsessed over fringe. Not that straight boys didn’t obsess over their fringe, Harry just managed to do so in a very _very_ feminine manner. (Who carried pocket scissors just to trim their hair?? Most women didn’t even do that!)

So what was it? He didn’t seem to dislike Louis; he’d basically forced himself into Louis’s house that afternoon just to take care of him when he’d been ill. That seriously didn’t seem like the actions of someone completely unaffected by Tommo charm. 

There was one looming suspicion Louis had that he had yet to confront. This suspicion was extremely daunting and yet, Louis couldn’t find the strength to address it. As the week wore on though, he began to feel like that was the only possible explanation, and when he finally went to talk to Harry about what had happened between them, he found himself exactly where he’d never wanted to be.

It was a Thursday afternoon in May when Louis found himself outside the bakery. A Thursday afternoon with blue skies, and relatively decent temperatures. Birds singing lazily from the tops of trees as small children covered in ice cream laughed while their parents swung them between their legs. A Thursday afternoon when Louis realized while staring into the window of that bakery, watching a curly haired boy serve pastries to the elderly with a blindingly beautiful and innocent smile decorated onto his features, just how wrong he’d been about men and relationships in general. He realized how utterly incapable he was of living the life he’d led for so long now that he’d met this portion of sunlight. This boy with his shy glances and captivating eyes and caring, yet honest heart. 

He also realized just how scared he was of change. Louis knew he’d never be able to hide behind the man’s man that he’d been before. He’d have to address his emotions and his issues, he’d have to become a better person if he ever wanted to deserve this boy. He realized all this as he watched Harry from his SUV on the side of the road, not caring how stalkerish he looked. He was fully prepared to walk into the shop, perhaps smile at the old couple who’d just bought some delicious croissants, probably on Harry’s recommendation, ask them how they are and wish them a nice afternoon. Smile at them graciously and restore some faith in the youth of today. He’d turn his gaze slowly to where he knew the taller boy would be standing, perhaps meeting welcoming eyes, perhaps confused or even angry ones. He’d approach him and ask him to sit down and as they talked, he’d reach for his hand, willing Harry to understand what he longed to explain to him. How he'd managed to completely change his theories and beliefs on life and love in general in only a matter of weeks, and that in that time Louis had come to realize he can't be separated from Harry anymore. Self-importance and narcissism aside, Louis needed Harry. And he would let him know just how much he needed him on that beautiful and promising Thursday afternoon.

Louis's resolve for his plans became solid as he climbed down out of his large vehicle and made his way over to the bakery window. He looked in at Harry and smiled knowing he couldn't see Louis from the angle he was at, then Louis looked down at himself to make sure he looked presentable for his declaration. When he looked up again, what he saw made him feel like his bones would give out and the next thing he knew he was lying on the pavement blinking dazedly at the clear blue sky before it all went black.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis awoke with a pressure on his legs and one extremely sweaty hand. This struck him as odd seeing as his other hand was kinda really cold. He peeked his eye open just as a hand clamped back over his own, matching in sweatiness. So that's what it was.

He looked up to see wide and destroyed chocolate eyes peering down at him. Louis, allowing the memory of why he fainted in the first place to float back into his mind, retracted his hand immediately and scooted away from the younger boy, almost passing out again. 

Liam opened his mouth in what looked like an attempt to say something; only a strangled choked sound was produced. He blinked and looked down, appearing to be clearing his eyes of the tears that had sprung up there. 

"Lou-" he managed. 

"Just don't, Liam." Louis closed his eyes, and after a beat, "Don't."

"I didn't do this to hurt you, I don't even know how it happened!!"

"You don't even know how it happened..." Louis echoed, then scoffed as sarcastically as he could manage. "I mean I knew you were dumb Payne but I didn't think you were certifiable." 

"Louis you don't understand. I- just let me explain and-" 

"You're not even GAY Liam! How could you do this to me? How could you bring _him_ into your sexuality crisis? Why didn't you tell me? You KNEW how I felt about him! All those phone calls? Am I not worth your loyalty anymore? Was I ever?" Louis was almost in tears himself by the time he'd finished. 

He shoved the cat that had taking a nest up on his lap so he could get off the bed. He started pacing the room and running his hands through his hair furiously,

"I told you Liam. I called you the. next. day. And told you I thought I had feelings for him. Strong feelings! Did that mean nothing to you? Are you really so obsessed with yourself that you had to take this from me?"

Liam's face was soaked with tears at this point but Louis couldn't find it in himself to care. Liam knew Louis cared about Harry. He'd been told all the feelings Louis had had and plans to make Harry his. And Liam went after him. Liam took Harry from Louis. Why? Louis suddenly had the strongest urge to _understand_ why Liam would possibly feel inclined to betray him in this way. 

Louis slowly stopped fidgeting with his hair and walked over to the opposite side of the bed from where Liam was sitting, "Explain it. All of it." 

Liam nodded slowly and took a deep breath; adjusting himself in the chair and taking another deep breath. 

"NOW Liam." Louis snapped.

Liam jumped at Louis's harshness but Louis was still feeling absolutely no sympathy for this giant dick in front of him. Liam couldn't possibly understand the pain Louis felt when he saw him walk behind Harry in the bakery. The initial confusion, then extreme bewilderment when Liam wrapped his arms around Harry's back as Harry smiled that smile Louis loved so much. The horrific realization as Liam turned him around and cupped the back of his head as he kissed him passionately and the fervor with which Harry returned his kiss. The feeling of his entire body giving up as his suspicion that Harry had a boyfriend already being confirmed in the worst way possible. The pain that that very boyfriend was supposed to be his best friend. Louis began to feel weak all over again and sat down on the bed, burying his face in his hands as he waited for Liam to explain. He didn't have it in him to snap anymore.

"Well- uh- at first I mean.. The first time he came- I just" Louis let out an impatient huff at Liam's inability to form a coherent sentence. Liam, realizing this, straightened up and wiped at his cheeks furiously, obviously trying to regain some composure. Fuck him.

"After I met him in the bakery, that first morning, I thought he was fantastic. A perfect bloke's kind of bloke. And I thought, who likes blokes that I know anyhow? Of course, you do. That's why I invited him over to your house in the first place." Liam's voice got quieter towards the end of his sentence and stayed that way as he went on, "So then we hung out a bit, there at the bakery, getting to know each other and all that... And I found myself feeling unusually happy he'd be coming to your house later, that I'd get to spend more time with him I mean." Louis rolled his eyes, Liam always did this. Thought that just because he enjoyed someone he had to marry them for fucks sake. Liam went on,

"When I left with Eleanor - she's not as dumb as we thought by the way - she asked me about it, why I was so flirty with him. I hadn't realized I was being flirty, so obviously I denied it, but the nagging feeling that he wasn't just a potential good mate was getting louder in the back of my mind.

"When you were flirting with him, after he first showed up, I was laughing but it was weird. Like I was upset that you were obviously interested in him, but I brought him here so you would have someone so it made no sense... I tried to brush it off." Liam paused, seeming to get lost in the memory for a moment then continued. 

"By the end of the day it was obvious he liked you Louis. He kept making eyes at you even when you weren't staring at him and it was weird. It hurt me to watch. But I wasn't going to admit anything so I tried to convince myself it was fantastic. That's why I allowed you to take his number. I was hoping you'd go for it and I could get him out of my system..." 

Louis began at that, "but then why did you-" 

"Shh please I'm not finished." Louis nodded begrudgingly, not feeling anymore relieved to have found his best friend snogging the potential love of his life. 

"I spent the whole night thinking about him Louis. The whole fucking night. I didn't sleep at all and after a few days I couldn't stay away anymore, I went back to the bakery to see him"

Liam paused then as if he expected Louis to explode at him for some obvious reason when of course he went back to the bakery why should Louis be surprised. God Louis hated him right now. He went on,

"He asked about you, why you hadn't texted him. I said that he'd given the number to me, how should you know to contact him? Harry gave me this look, quite memorable like, 'you know damn well why I gave you my number Liam'. I guess I knew it was for you the whole time, but I like to pretend like it wasn't. Anyways, I said I didn't one why you hadn't texted... That maybe you weren't interested..."

At this Louis did shout, "YOU FUCKING KNEW I WAS INTERESTED. I TOLD YOU THE VERY NEXT FUCKING DAY LIAM" 

"I know! I know..." Liam hung his head. "I don't know what I was thinking" his voice was almost a whisper.

"Keep going then. What's the point in stopping now?" Louis crossed his arms and legs and turned his face to the wall, waiting for Liam to continue. 

"Well... He seemed so upset I just- I didn't know what to do. I asked him to the park with me and he agreed, but he seemed lost in thought. Like he didn't understand why you wouldn't be interested. I guess nobody's not interested in this boy." Liam chuckled softly, obviously trying to lighten the mood but Louis just stayed silent, waiting for more information about the boy he cared about. 

"We talked at the park. We talked a lot actually. I learned about his family and friends, about his coming out and all that. He asked me about my life and I told him... I don't know Lou we just really connected."

"Don't. Call me that. You have no right" Louis snapped again, his bitterness returning. 

Liam made a noise that sounded almost like a whine at Louis's rejection but kept on anyways, "When it was time to go, well, I didn't know what to do so I hugged him and he hugged back. It felt incredible, better than any girl I've ever hugged. Firm, but not too firm. Affectionate, and clear. No mixed signals... So I leaned in and-"

"Stop." Louis said, "Just fucking, stop."

"Louis-"

"No, I understand. I get it all. And I don't forgive you because that was the shittiest story I've ever heard and it's even shittier because I know it's the truth. So what, you kissed him and he realized he was head over heals for you? He just forgets about little old me and runs into your arms for the rest of time?"

"Louis it's not like that at all. He didn't kiss me back, but he told me that he was interested... and that we'd have to take it slow. You had to understand, he thought you weren't into him. I'd made him believe it and the weeks you didn't contact him seemed to be proof enough." 

"But I told you! Liam I told you everything those weeks were you even listening to me? Did you understand what I was going through? My confusion? My difficulty realizing I was ready to let go of my old life for him? This was supposed be a vacation I could relax on and you've made it more stressful than my career ever was." Louis took a deep breath and huffed it out. His chest heaving from the emotion of the conversation. "He kissed me you know, the other day. He came over when I was ill and we snogged. I should've known the reason he left was because he had a boyfriend. But I had no reason to suspect it'd be you." Louis spat the last sentence at him. He couldn't believe he'd ever called him his friend.

"He... He kissed you?" Liam sounded broken. Good.

"Yes. On the mouth. We used our tongues." Louis emphasized each word. He wanted Liam to feel this. Feel it as deeply as he'd hurt Louis.

"But he-" Liam stuttered.

"Enough." A firm voice came from the doorway. Liam and Louis turned to see red-rimmed green eyes set in a tear stained face at the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Louis stared back at the boy who had immediately found his gaze for what seemed like forever. Only when Liam cleared his throat did Harry realize how inappropriate it was to stare at a different boy with your boyfriend in the room. Honestly, how could he help it? Louis was beautiful. The most beautiful boy he had ever seen by a long shot. 

Not that Liam wasn't gorgeous, with his puppy chocolate brown eyes and defined biceps. But Louis was more his type and Harry loved that he could make him laugh. He loved Louis's quick wit and charm, that he stumbled over himself sometimes but was too proud to admit he was anything less than the best. His confidence was definitely Harry's favorite thing about him and when Liam had told him Louis was uninterested well, Harry was more than a little disappointed. 

He gazed back into the eyes of the boy who'd been his boyfriend for the past few weeks and then back over to the boy he's dreamt of for the past few weeks. 

He hadn't known how to react when Louis came on to him at his house the other day, all he knew was those were definitely not the actions of a disinterested person. So why would Liam lie? Looking back at Liam he got his answer. Liam was already so invested, Harry knew it wasn't smart to get involved when Liam was still so new to being gay. He was hurt that Louis didn't care about him and he needed a distraction. It was selfish, and it wasn't like Harry didn't care about Liam at all. But he was mostly a rebound for the relationship he never got the chance to have with Louis. 

Looking between them, and reflecting on what he'd heard, he realized an even bigger issue. He was destroying their friendship. He couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks. Harry was usually the nice guy, he was kind as much of the time as he could be and he tried his hardest to put other people before himself. What had these two boys done to him to make him go against his basic nature? The only thing he knew for certain is that he needed to end it with Liam before things got any worse. Whether or not Louis actually wanted him, he couldn't lie to Liam anymore. 

Looking back at both boys with concerned expressions on their face, he cleared his throat, "Louis" he breathed. Liam tensed, "Would you please leave Liam and I alone for a moment?" Louis's face visibly fell instantly. Harry's heart was breaking that he couldn't reach out and hold him, make him understand that there was never any choice. It was always him. Liam seemed relieved, to which Harry was also heart broken because he knew what was to follow on top of Louis's despising him, would wreck Liam. Harry never wanted to hurt him, never.

Louis silently exited the room, avoiding Harry's gaze. As the door shut, Harry stood a moment in silence before slowly walking over to where Liam sat, a hopeful look in his eyes. Whether or not Louis was Liam's friend, Liam would always be Harry's. That was obvious. But Harry didn't want Liam... Not in that way. He just couldn't figure out how to word it.

Liam seemed to sense something in Harry's expression because his features fell almost further than Louis's had. This was fucking awful. How could Harry do this? He wouldn't survive breaking Liam's heart. Before he could start, Liam spoke,

"I know I messed up, and I know how you feel about him. But Harry, I swear to God I'm better for you. You can't know how much I care about you. You don't know what Louis was like before he came here, you don't know his past. Harry, he wouldn't treat you as well as I would- as I _will_. If you'd only give me the chance I mean- just please. Please don't do this." Liam's eyes were begging and the tears were blanketing his cheeks thicker than ever. Harry's heart had shattered long before this confession and now the jagged pieces were raking along his throat, making it hard to breathe.

"Liam- I" Liam grabbed his face and Harry turned away. In a barely audible whisper he gave, "I can't." 

Liam's replying sob was completely unbearable. Harry threw his arms around the older boy and held him as he cried muttering, "I'm so sorry, I am so incredibly sorry." Liam cried into Harry's shoulder as he held him, trying to will his pain away. 

Liam stood abruptly and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Harry was left with his own tears and broken heart as he sat on the bed wondering how things got this bad over such a short period of time. 

He sat, listening to the whir of the ceiling fan and endless nothing that surrounded him, for what seemed like an eternity. Only one thought kept him from breaking down completely. He stood and stared towards the door before making his way towards it. He laid his stomach against the doorway and raised his hands to hold on near his face. He slowly peered around the edging to the living room where Louis was sat. 

He inhaled sharply at the sight of him there, the light from the window shining in in such a way that made him look almost heavenly, with his perfectly sculpted hair and smooth, tan skin. The blue of his eyes so vivid, Harry could make them out from where he stood. The slight bump of his Adam's apple in the mid section of his throat down to his impeccable choice of outfit. 

Sensing Harry's gaze, Louis turned his head slowly to where he stood. A twitch of his lips served as a hesitant smile, which Harry returned with more of a turn to his lips. Louis gestured for him to join him on the couch, no doubt having seen Liam's devastated exit and understand Harry's choice. Harry spared but one more thought for the heart of the boy he'd just destroyed before he joined Louis there on the couch.

Time heals all wounds, he just had to hope that Liam would allow it.


	13. Chapter 13

Louis and Harry spent that day simply enjoying each other's company. Both could feel the enormity of what was happening between them, but also how traumatically Liam had been affected.

Louis kept finding himself lost in the thought that nothing this big has ever happened so fast. That the sheer magnitude of what has unfolded over the course of a few insignificant weeks is completely unprecedented. He couldn't help but feel that this fact contributed greatly to his certainty of one thing: he needed to be with Harry. Any other other option was unthinkable. The size of this realization blocked out any possibility of discovering an alternative. So there they were, enjoying each other, but not moving too fast. Not letting the fact that Liam's heart had been sacrificed just that day so they could have this happiness.

Louis would never forgive Liam. He knew to any outsider he would seem dramatic - he didn't care though. Whether he'd known Harry a few weeks or a few years, Liam had no right to interfere the way he had. It was a testament of what Liam held important over his and Louis's friendship and Louis wasn't about to be understanding of it. Bro's before hoes never felt so insignificant a phrase, but it obviously didn't apply to Liam and Louis's relationship. Secretly, Louis knew he'd have put Harry first as well. He didn't have to worry about that now though, and he pushed the thought to the furthest reaches of his mind where it would hopefully dissolve with enough time and neglect. 

Harry nudged his shoulder where they'd been laying on the grass in the backyard all afternoon. Evidently Louis had been more lost in thought than he'd realized. 

Louis sat up on one elbow and looked down to where Harry lay with his eyes squinting against the sun shining directly into his eyes. Louis smiled softly, feeling intimidated by the weight of his feelings for the boy beneath him. 

Harry, not understanding that Louis was having a beautiful moment staring into his eyes, coughed awkwardly and made an attempt to roll onto his side as well. Louis chuckled and pushed his shoulder back down onto the grass, Harry gazed up with a question on his features.

"Not so fast, love" Louis grinned.

"Mmmm" Harry closed his eyes and hummed, "I like the sound of that"

"And what would that be?"

"Your voice, calling me love. It's- I don't know? Sort of perfect I guess." Harry's cheeks reddened under Louis's intense gaze but he wasn't about to turn away. Instead, he lifted one leg over Harry's torso and settled on the other side of his hips, now straddling him.

Harry's head lifted up momentarily to gauge the situation no doubt - their groins were now flush against the others. He quickly laid his head back down and covered his face with his hands.

"Suns so bright..." He mumbled, obviously not knowing how to handle a Louis on top of him.

Louis slowly removed his hands and placed his own on either side of Harry's head so he could lean down and block the sun from his face. 

"Any better?" He said quietly into his ear, breathing softly on Harry's neck. Louis could feel Harry's chest rising and falling quickly beneath his own. His arousal growing hard against Louis's stomach.

Harry's voice came out low and choppy, obviously having difficulty forming his sentences correctly, "much" he choked out. Louis couldn't help it, he threw his head back in a bark of laughter at Harry's state. Harry's cheeks deepened in color and he snapped, "Oh shut up and kiss me you arse."

He approached Harry slowly, allowing his breath to fan over his face. Harry's lips parted infinitesimally and Louis's tongue darted out to wet his own. He slowly descended upon Harry's eager mouth, inhaling the sigh Harry released when they finally connected. 

Louis relished the cushion of Harry's full lips upon his own thin ones and, after a while of bathing in the beauty that was their first _real_ kiss, slowly moved his mouth. Harry followed him almost perfectly but with a hint of urgency Louis translated as his groin talking. Louis's own arousal was becoming increasingly obvious but he wasn't about to ruin this moment. 

His tongue slowly entered Harry's mouth, really tasting him for the first time. His tongue met Harry's own and noted the lemon and sugar flavors he found there. Perks of working at a bakery no doubt.

Harry moaned softly as Louis deepened the kiss, continuing his slow dance with Harry's tongue, pausing every now and again to look down at his beautifully sculpted face. Harry never opened his eyes, afraid the moment would be ruined. Louis knew better though. They were full of these moments and it would be far more difficult then locking eyes to ruin them. 

Harry's moan set Louis off for a moment, making his cock twitch. Harry noticed this and smiled greedily, still not opening his eyes.

"Shit..." Louis breathed, his mouth coming down on Harry's harder this time. He was met with equal passion as Harry let out a louder groan that excited Louis even more. 

Louis moved his hands to Harry's neck then hair when Harry shocked him by grabbing his waist and flipping them over, Harry now on top. 

They continued their passionate makeout much like the first with Harry grinding his pelvis into Louis's eliciting moans from the both of them into each other's hungry mouths.

Louis moved his hands from Harry's hair down his chest and under his shirt, splaying his fingers under the hard muscles he found there. Louis wasn't unaware Harry was fit, but he was surprised by this, figuring he'd be a little soft from all the baked goods. Sensing Louis's excitement over his body, Harry ripped off his shirt, revealing a completely toned torso and beautifully sculpted biceps. Louis was in gay boy heaven. 

Louis moved his hands from Harry's perfect torso down to the band of his jeans, looking up momentarily for consent before going any further. Harry simply nodded a quick thrust of his head to signal for Louis to go ahead. Louis quickly did away with Harry's belt and undid his trousers in record time. By the time he reached Harry's boxers his hands were shaking with anticipation. 

He slowly reached around the back to slide the boxers first off Harry's small but beautiful bum, pulling around front until his entire length was free. Louis gazed at Harry's erection with pure, unadulterated desire. He wrapped a small fist around Harry's cock and stroked it lovingly. Harry's eyes rolled to the back of his head and his mouth fell open into a silent O as Louis touched him. 

Harry began to pant and Louis knew he was close. He flipped Harry over onto his back so he was straddling the younger boys thighs. He stroked him a few more times before inching backwards and leaning down to press a few kisses along Harry's torso.

"Yeah- Yes _Louis_." Harry tried to speak but soon his words became lost as Louis licked up his thigh to the base of his shaft. He trailed his tongue up in a broad stripe along the underside of his cock, making Harry jerk up reflexively.

"Fuck! Louis-" 

"It's fine" Louis chuckled, cutting off Harry's attempt at an apology. 

He held Harry's hips down and flicked his tongue across the tip of him. Slowly he sucked him into his mouth, only the first inch, rejoicing in the sound of Harry gasping his name. He slowly took more of him into his mouth, using his hand to cover the rest. 

As he sucked him off, Harry's hands found themselves in Louis's hair. Louis appreciated that Harry didn't tug all that hard, he'd never been the hair kink type. 

As Harry's moans got louder, Louis's own erection was becoming a distraction. He reached down between his own legs and began to palm himself through his shorts. When Harry glanced down to see why Louis hand had left his hip he cursed, 

"Fucking hell Louis- you're so- so... Fuck- hot" Harry managed. Louis could tell he was close and by the sounds of Harry's moans, he was too. Louis removed his hand and attempted to take all of Harry in for his last dip, feeling Harry come into the back of his throat as he cried out his climax. Louis replaced his mouth with his hand, swallowing and feeling his own orgasm overtake him. Harry quickly grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up to eye level so he could kiss him hard as he rode out his own climax. Eyes pinched shut, Louis collapsed on top of Harry's naked body.

"Fuck." They said in unison, breathing heavily, Louis still atop Harry. They both laughed and Harry slid his boxers up his legs. After kissing the top of Louis's head, Harry closed his eyes where they lay in the grass. A few moments later, Louis could hear Harry's soft snores in his ear and shortly after, fell asleep himself.

So much for not moving too fast.


	14. Chapter 14

And that's how they spent their 8 months together. Enjoying their time and learning all there was to learn of the other. Everything except that Louis was a millionaire pop star with commitment issues, of course. Because Louis didn't feel like that person when he was with Harry. When they were together it was like he'd never went to the audition, or struggled through bootcamp, or gotten the phone call that his debut album had gone triple platinum.

He tried to think about his life now as a second chance. As the life he'd have been gifted with had he never gotten out of bed that morning, or Simon had told him he simply wasn't any good. But he knew he couldn't do it forever. Knew there were so many people who relied on him for their job and how hard so many had worked for him to be in the place he was success wise. No, he wouldn't give up his career. But he wasn't giving up Harry either. 

Louis pondered this as he watched his boyfriend of the past seven months do what he loved most in the world. He measured and mixed with such precision and _care_ that louis couldn't see him doing anything else in the world if he tried. He thought about the phone call he'd received the night before informing him that his time in Holmes Chapel was soon to expire and that he'd have a car in four days to bring him back to the limelight; what would Harry think when he found out? Would he leave him? Could Louis handle that? He remembered back to when Harry had been so cold to him and smiled as he thought about Harry's response when Louis had finally plucked up the courage to ask him why. 

"You were so beautiful, I really don't think you understand how perfect you are." He'd said, "I- I guess I just felt like you'd never be into someone like me and that made me bitter? If that makes any sense..." 

Louis had felt his heart melt as he watched his boyfriends eyes fall; full of insecurity Louis wasn't sure he'd ever be able to erase. 

He remembered kissing Harry hard on the mouth, trying to convince him with his lips that Harry was more than enough for him. 

Just as Louis was finishing his little reminiscence he was greeted with warm hands over his eyes and warmer lips on his neck.

"Guess who..." The lower voice mumbled.

"Mmmm... David your mouth is heavenly..."

Harry snapped up at that, "David??" 

"Oh, Harry. I had no idea" Louis feigned shock. "Your mouth is quite like Mr. Beckham's, sorry I mistook you." 

Harry scowled down at his boyfriend, throwing a look over his shoulder to make sure no one was working up front - they'd closed the shop for lunch - and spread his legs, straddling louis in the chair he was sat in and wrapping his arms behind his neck. 

"I was going to snog your face off for my lunch break, but seeing as you've been expecting another-" 

"Shut up you cad" Louis silenced him with his own lips and Harry chuckled against him.

Just as the kiss was becoming a bit too heated for a public setting, Louis broke it off, panting lightly.

"Harry I- I need to tell you something" Louis looked down, ashamed he'd put it off for so long. 

Harry's face screamed that he thought it was bad news and Louis was quick to correct him, "I don't mean I want to break up or anything!! It's just- it's about my... My job." 

"Your job." Harry repeated, not understanding how Louis's job could possibly be an issue. Louis didn't blame him, Harry knew so little of the mainstream world Louis couldn't imagine him understanding why Louis's life in it would come with complications. Hell, he had no idea Louis was even remotely famous. 

"Yes. You see I- well the work I do it's... Quite... Public? Yes it's quite public... And I- well I have to be careful about... Well, about decisions? No, um activities? Okay yeah activities I... _engage_ in. Because well... I don't want there to be bad... Publicity. As it's a very.... Public job." 

Louis let out a sharp breath after finishing and looked up at Harry's face. Harry was anything but impatient but it was clear he wasn't quite understanding. He questioned,

"Like, being gay? People don't know you're gay where you're from?" 

"Yes exactly, like being gay. And my mum knows and my bosses but... There are others who don't. _lots_ of others and my bosses are afraid of their reaction if they find out." 

Harry scratched behind his ear as he tried to understand. 

"Then don't tell them?" 

Louis sighed. "If only it were that easy..." 

"How could it not be that easy? You haven't told them yet... Don't tell them later? Just stay here with me and no one will know." Harry seemed to be getting flustered but not in an obvious way. He'd never want Louis to know he was upset.

Louis frowned, "I can't stay here forever... I have to go back to my job. People are relying on me." 

Harry realized he wasn't getting anywhere and sighed in defeat. 

"Well, you could at least tell me what you do that's making your life so difficult..."

Louis searched Harry's face and realized he was right. Harry deserved to know. 

He pulled his laptop out of his bag and set it in front of Harry. Harry didn't own any electronics beside his flimsy flip phone. His face conveyed serious confusion as Louis opened google for him and scooted the screen right in front of Harry's face. 

"Type in my name." 

"What?" 

"You heard me."

"Yeah but... Why?"

"Don't make smack you Harry just do it"

"But... I don't know how?"

Louis shook his head fondly and placed Harry's wrists at the base of the keyboard.

"Just type in the letters like this" Louis typed in Harry's name slowly and hit search. A few random websites popped up but none with anything actually related to Harry in the short descriptions below the titles. "You see? Now you type my name."

Harry looked at Louis for a long moment before finally looking at the screen then down at the keyboard. Slowly, he punched in each letter of Louis's name. 

Louis could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he predicted Harry's reaction when he discovered the truth.

After what seemed an eternity, Harry's index hovered over the enter button as he'd seen Louis's do. He looked over at Louis one last time, awaiting approval. Louis gave one slow, shaky nod and Harry tapped the key.


	15. Chapter 15

Three days.

Three days and Louis was certain he was losing it.

Three days and he didn't even want to think about leaving the next day.

One day. 

One day until Louis had to go back. 

"THIS FUCKING SUCKS!" Louis screamed at his ceiling. He'd spent much of the last three days in that position; screaming at random objects in his house, willing Harry to pick up the phone or answer the door when he came by. 

Louis was more than stunned by how calm and collected Harry had seemed after he'd hit that enter key. Was shocked really when Harry merely glanced at the massive list of websites that accompanied Louis's name online; requesting that louis click on a few and even smirking at some of the stuff he read. 

So Louis still couldn't figure out, after they'd said their goodbyes and promised to talk more tomorrow, why the fuck Harry had dropped off the face of the earth. 

He'd rang at least a hundred times, stopped by 6 times that first day and even questioned Harry's coworkers on multiple occasions. None of them had seen him, but he had finished his shifts for the week so it's not like that was a surprise. 

Louis texted and called and rang the doorbell and screamed at his house and hated life for three days until he was finally reduced to a quiet sadness. 

This was it, Harry hadn't wanted to freak out in front of him - he was too good a person to purposely frighten Louis - so he'd left and decided he didn't want Louis anymore. And Louis was going to leave in one day and never even get to say goodbye. 

No, fuck that. Louis never backed down and he didn't pour eight months of his life into that dick hole for it to end like this. So what if he's famous? It's not like he's killed anyone, Harry has no right to reject him with no explanation, or even goodbye. 

Louis jumped off his bed; intent on getting some answers. He stomped towards to his closet to find the perfect why-the-fuck-did-you-break-up-with-me-and-not-say-goodbye-hell-no outfit and tripped on a pair of boots Harry had left in his bedroom a couple months earlier. 

Louis was left sprawled on the floor, but this time, no curses came. Instead, Louis felt the familiar burn of the past few days in the back of his throat as his eyes began to prick with tears. 

He slowly lifted himself and opted against extravagant outfits and large declarations. He would go over there, yes. And he would find his answers. But he wouldn't force Harry into anything because the truth of the matter was, Louis knew Harry was too good for him. He deserved to be dumped and Harry probably should have stayed with Liam the whole time. God knows Louis wouldn't be so friendless had he not made such a fuss about it. Looking back, Louis knew he'd been wrong. They'd both known Harry only a couple weeks and Louis couldn't possibly fathom the feelings he now held for Harry being around then. He'd taken Liam's happiness (while strange as he wasn't even gay and barely knew Harry) (but technicalities, right?) because he was selfish and attracted to Harry. He understood that now. 

Louis sat back on the edge of his bed, believing karma was taking Harry away from him because he took Harry from the possibility of a normal life with Liam. What a prick he was. Why couldn't he just be a decent person? 

Grabbing his keys, Louis slowly made his way out to his car. He made the drive to Harry's in silence, trying to plan what he'd say. Though, mostly praying that Harry would listen to him. 

Louis pulled into the drive and parked his car, staring at the house for a few moments. He then slid out of the impossibly high seat and made his way towards the front door. After knocking a few too many times, then banging his fists, then kicking and banging simultaneously, a woman in nurses uniform opened the door. Louis looked at her with an exasperate expression he attempted to mold into a question on his features as a broken voice behind her called out,

"Who- who is it Norma?" The voice was quiet and broke at the end of the phrase. It was also unmistakably Harry's.

Norma - giving Louis a major case of stink eye - slowly opened the door to reveal Louis to Harry and Louis's heart dropped at what he saw. 


	16. Chapter 16

Harry was knelt beside what looked like some sort of hospital bed? But why would there be a hospital bed in the middle of Harry's house?

Louis's heart slowly sank below his knees as he connected the dots. The nurse, the bed, the pills on the nightstand, the frail woman lying in front of him, Harry scrubbing at his eyes furiously trying to erase the tears stained onto his cheeks. 

She was dying. 

Harry's mum was dying.

Louis stood there a bit awkwardly not knowing whether to comfort his boyfriend or break down, seeing the sweet woman he'd met with countless times before on picnics and lunch breaks at the bakery. 

Seeing how broken Harry was told Louis he should try his hardest to keep it together.

Harry slowly stood from his place at her bedside and Louis suddenly wished he hadn't come. Harry needed this time with his mother; Louis really shouldn't be there. 

He began to stagger backwards towards the door but Harry had already seen him and was halfway to him when he realized what Louis was doing.

"No- Lou, don't go. I'm so sorry I didn't call you back it's just-" his voice broke.

"Shhh, god no." Louis pulled Harry into his shoulder and began to pet his hair, feeling silent tears wet his shirt, "Don't you dare try to apologize. I just thought, maybe, you'd like to be alone with her..." 

Harry sniffed and looked up at Louis, nodding slightly, "I'll call you later. Okay?" 

Louis looked down at the runny nosed boy and felt complete heartache. Kissing Harry's nose, he smiled, fighting the water rising in his eyes. 

"Later." 

Harry smiled almost imperceptibly and turned back towards his sick mother. Louis's face immediately fell as he fought to keep it together until he made it out to his car. 

Once he got there, though, Louis lost it. He did so horribly when it came to loss, he'd practically cursed his mother to hell when any of their pets would die and now the boy he loved most in the world was losing the woman he loved most. He knew this world was wholly unfair but Louis still couldn't believe this could happen to such a good person. 

"Fuck you world. Fuck you fuck you fuck you." Louis blubbered, his tears thick and suffocating. 

When he arrived back at his house nothing had changed, the house was still ugly, he was still sad but mostly, he was still alone. He dragged his big bedspread and body pillow down the stairs and out to the couch, cuddling in the place Harry had first kissed him. 

Louis couldn't help but imagine young Harry, playing with his friends at school, riding his bike in the yard, falling down every now and then. His thoughts then turned to the woman who would bandage his wounds and kiss his forehead, giving him all the love she had to offer. Louis was thrown into a whole new fit of hysterics. 

Louis had been laying on the couch for a long time, halfway between consciousness and lack thereof, when he made an important decision. He would go back to his life tomorrow, but he wasn't about to burden Harry with anything else. He wasn't about to burden Harry with anything ever again. Harry needed his family right now, and he didn't need Louis dragging his paparazzi and drama and screaming fans into his already difficult life. 

So yes, Louis would return to London tomorrow. But Harry wouldn't know about it, he'd be better off not knowing. He'd forget about Louis soon enough and find someone he deserved. Louis would make it without him, he told himself, Louis could make it in London again. Alone. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the first chapter, just so you're aware :)

_Present day_

The knocking persisted, growing in volume. 

"WHAT!" Louis shouted, jolting up from where he lay on the couch. 

"God dammit..." It was only a dream. Louis would never get the chance to even bring Harry home with him, let alone sign any contracts with him...

Louis walked over to the door and peered through the eyehole. Dan was on the other side, looking considerably more confident. 

Opening the door, Louis was met with a smirk and surprise hard kiss right on his fucking mouth. What the fuck? 

"Dan" Louis struggled against him. Fuck, when did Dan get so strong? "Dan. Get. OFF!" Louis shoved as hard as he could and Dan went stumbling backwards, confusion written all over his features.

"I- I came out Louis! For you..." 

What. Seriously? What. 

"Dan. I don't know why the fuck you did that but I'm not interested, sorry" Louis knew he was being an ass but he was too caught in his whirlwind of depression to give a fuck.

Louis heard a chuckle behind Dan and swallowed, looking up to see Liam walking towards them with malevolence clear on his features.

"Well it seems like some people really just don't know how to commit. Does Harry know you're _still_ unfaithful?" 

So that's how it was. Louis wasn't that person anymore. Liam obviously held a lot of resentment for the past right months, which Louis understood, but he was heartbroken. And two could play at this game. 

"Why don't you ask him, Liam? Oh but that wouldn't make sense... Seeing as you're nothing to him anymore." Okay that was a low blow. Louis knew he'd struck a deep chord when Liam winced, visibly less confident. 

"Just shut the fuck up why don't you Tomlinson?" Liam spat.

Dan and Liam skulked into the house to fetch Louis's luggage (which he'd not packed, those assholes deserve the job). Dan was obviously depressed about Louis's refusal and Liam was just plain mad. 

This was going to be a fantastic car ride. 

Once the boys had finished loading up Louis's things and they'd all settled in the car, Louis chanced a look at his phone. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Liam commented. Though not in a consoling way but not quite a malicious way either. 

"Don't, Liam." Louis really wasn't in the mood.

Louis had seven missed calls and thirteen texts. All from Harry. 

Louis felt his eyes well up again and quickly brushed away the tears, ignoring the sideways glances he received from the other two in the car. 

With shaky hands, Louis popped open the side compartment of his phone and withdrew the SIM card. Rolling down the window, he took a deep breath and threw the tiny chip into the woods of Holmes Chapel. Looking out the window at the beautiful scenery he'd come to love over the year, he allowed the tears to fall silently, 

"Goodbye curly" he whispered. 


	18. Chapter 18

Management wasted no time in getting Louis back into the mainstream. With Louis's new Harry-less depression he didn't go out at all and declined any and all invites from old flings. His team was ecstatic believing this new somber Lou was a result of their genius plan to send him away. Oh how stupid they were.

Louis was briefed almost immediately after his return of a gala he was expected to attend. It was supposedly the prime event for kicking off his post R&R career. 

Seated in the meeting that held all the members of his team and his parents, they explained the plan. 

"Okay so Louis, you aren't set to perform now but Mike and I think it'd be wise if you offered. Show you're a more charitable person and fame hasn't gone to your head and all that... Louis? Louis are you listening to me?" Sean, his head events coordinator, questioned. Louis sat up suddenly and wiped the drool from his chin, quickly covering his doodle of he and Harry titled "The Styles'".

"What? Yeah... 'Course. Arse kissing, singing, charming important people. I'm solid guys, I know how to do my job."

Truth was, Louis hadn't been listening. He hadn't really listened to anything since he drove away from that town that held everything he cared about. Sean had started up again on something like seating and people Louis'd slept with. Louis sighed loudly. 

"You know guys, this is really fun and all but unless you tell me I can go ahead and hop on out of the closet, I don't see what I'm doing here." 

To his right, Carl gave him a nudge, something like, 'I know what you mean and you're right. But knock it off you're being a prat'

Louis rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair when Liam chimed in. 

"You know... I think it'd be wise if Louis took someone to this gala." Louis's brow narrowed in suspicion, what was Liam up to? "Like, a girl obviously. For reputations sake? Someone to credit his 'transformation' for? How about El! I'm sure she'd love to, right El?" 

Eleanor barely suppressed a high pitch squeal at the suggestion. 

"Oh god. You _can't_ be serious?" Louis craned his neck away from Eleanor to avoid her slaughtered expression. "I'm gay Eleanor. It's obvious, everyone knows. Get over it." Louis snapped. Wow, he really was a fuck head. 

"Louis, we think that's a great idea. You will take Eleanor to the gala and you will make sure she has a great time. Grow up, will you?" Mike added through his teeth. Since when did his entire team hate him so much? 

"Fine Mike. But I won't fuck her afterwards, if that's what you're hoping. Gay isn't temporary." Ignoring the appalled looks on everyone's faces, he stormed out of the building and out to his car. 

He laid his head on the steering wheel and cried for a while, missing Harry. Wondering how his mom was. Hoping she was getting better. It wasn't long before he was calling the only hospital in Holmes Chapel and asking for anyone who could update him on the state of Anne Twist. 

After a while of being deferred and put on hold Louis discovered that Anne had recovered almost fully in the last week. It was a miracle that none of the doctors understood but she was practically fully healthy and he had no reason to worry. It simply hadn't been her time. 

Louis thanked the woman on the phone and set it down. Bowing his head, he felt the all too familiar burn of tears in his eyes but this time, out of relief. Harry didn't lose her. Harry had someone. 

It didn't change that Louis's life was bad for Harry and he wouldn't go back, but it was an incredible relief to know she was okay. Louis couldn't help but think, what if he'd stuck it out another month? Been there for Harry's mother's recovery? Became worthy of him? Not run away from the problems that separated them. 

He knows what would have happened, he would've told Harry he was leaving, Harry would've dropped his entire life and came with him and Louis would be responsible for his misery. Harry didn't deserve the stresses and prosecution that went with being a gay celebrities boyfriend. He'd done the right thing. He was sure he had.

Hadn't he? 


	19. Chapter 19

The weeks leading up to the gala were uneventful for Louis. He spent the days avoiding Eleanor's texts and visits and the nights wishing he hadn't thrown away his old phone so he could still go through pictures and texts of him and Harry.

Liam was also not helping, dropping hints all the time about how Louis wasn't there for Harry in his time of need and how it sucks to lose someone doesn't it? Louis was about two more remarks from kicking Liam right in the dick. At least Liam didn't know about Anne. Knowing she was better calmed the incredible urge Louis felt to run back to Holmes Chapel.

The night of the gala arrived and as he, Liam and Eleanor made their way out to the car, Liam pulled Eleanor aside. Louis only caught bits of the conversation but it was enough to have him burning with curiosity. 

"...picked them up at noon...." He'd caught. "...wanted to see him..." "...doesn't know about the switch..." "...tell him no..." "...I'll be happy El..." 

What. The. Fuck.

"Yeah so whatcha guys on about?" Louis butted in. "You're shat at whispering Leeyum" Louis mocked. 

"Fuck of Louis. Get in the car." 

Eleanor scolded Liam for being so rude to Louis. He almost wished she wouldn't, she was so goddamn clingy and annoying. He truly believed she still didn't think he was gay. Even after his confession. 

More importantly though, Louis wanted to know what they'd been talking about. Could it be Harry? Was he here? Louis didn't know if he was okay with that. His reasons for leaving were unchanged.

They arrived at the gala a little before Louis was set to perform so he set off to find a bathroom and warmup for the show. 

After gargling a thousand times and singing a thousand more scales Louis faced facts. He was nervous. It'd been so long since he performed, he supposed it was natural. Still, he couldn't help but wish Harry was there at least to tell him he was being daft and to get it over with. Not that Harry even would, he was far too generous for that. 

Mike knocked on the door, letting Louis know he had two minutes to show time. Louis took a deep breath and exited the bathroom, walking towards the stage. After his mic guy had him hooked up he peered around the curtain. 

"Small crowd, easy enough. Right mate?" Louis clapped his hand on the back of the nearest person to him and realized, after hearing a scoff that he'd clapped Liam's shoulder. "Well fuck." He said and stepped out into the light. 

After a moments adjusting to the lights, Louis found himself in his element. This is what he lived for, this is what he worked for, breathed for, survived for. This was him, and he'd be okay. 

Just as the opening chords of a cover he sang at almost every show began, he searched the faces of those in the crowd. Not entirely sure why he was doing it, he almost stopped until two green eyes met his own.

Louis stuttered in the song but his guitar man covered him, he continued with the set, never leaving the green eyes out in the crowd, fuck. He was here. Louis found himself getting way to excited and knew he'd never be able to let Harry leave now that he'd seen him again. They're eyes stayed connected until someone pulled Harry's from view. Louis squinted and saw someone dragging him toward a side room as Harry threw glances back towards the stage and at the ground, trying not to trip over himself.

Louis still had three more songs until he was set to be done, but as soon as he finished he ran offstage just as the applause began.

He searched every room and table, every guests face and mini bar. He scoured the building until he bumped into an usher and asked frantically, 

"Have you seen... A boy. A boy with... Brown curls and.. Green. Eyes?" Louis managed 

The man looked annoyed and confused but said, "yeah think there was some curly bloke stormed out muttering somethin like shoulda never come or whateva not certain though" 

Louis cursed loudly then thanked the man, apologizing for his profanity and ran out into the night 

Louis looked up and down the street repeatedly before collapsing onto the pavement, burying his face in his hands, before Eleanor's voice came from behind him, 

"He's gone Lou. He's not coming back." 


	20. Chapter 20

"She's right Louis, he's gone. And after what you've put him through, I wouldn't be surprised if it was for good." Liam walked behind Eleanor.

"What the fuck are you even talking about Payne. Don't act like you know anything, we all know Harry cut you off ages ago." 

"Did he now? Is that why he called me? Just last week? It was really nice to catch up Louis it really was. Seeing as I'm the only one who's actually ever cared about him."

"He- he called you..." Louis repeated, full of shock and jealous rage. 

"Oh don't give me that shit Louis. You know he called to ask why you left him. All alone, with his sick mother and no one to help him. No one to ease his pain. You really are just a shitty person aren't you." 

"You don't even know what you're talking about. Anne is fine, I called the hospital."

"Oh and that makes leaving him when she wasn't okay? If you leave during the hard stuff why would he forgive you during the easy shit? You're so dumb it hurts me Tomlinson." 

"What did you tell him." Louis spat.

"Nothing, actually. Seeing as you brought Eleanor to this gala as your date, I figured I might as well invite him too and allow her to explain it to him. Ex boyfriend to current girlfriend protocol you know." Liam grinned. 

"This isn't going to make him love you Liam. Nothing can make him love you. He. Doesn't. Want. You." Louis stressed each syllable. 

"I'm aware." Liam looked away, trying to cover his pain. After he collected himself he continued, "but he won't ever be with you who doesn't deserve him now will he? Not after what Eleanor told him. About how you've always loved her? That your being gay was a phase and how you confessed to her that he'd merely been a way to pass the time in rehab. El really is quite the actress, had him bawling and everything. I couldn't watch of course, seeing as I have actual feelings for him. Not that you would understand that." 

Louis vomited on the pavement. Harry was here. Harry believed Louis didn't love him. Louis couldn't even fix it without blowing up his career, not after he'd made his comeback. Liam gazed down at Louis sobbing form on the pavement with indifference in his eyes.

"You made me this way Louis. Blame yourself." And walked off. Eleanor walked over to Louis to help him up but he pushed her off. 

"Don't touch me. Don't you ever fucking touch me. How dare you" Louis seethed. Eleanor whimpered and backed away to follow Liam. 

Louis laid on the pavement for a long time until someone accidentally stepped on his hand. 

Shouting, he stood up and made his way to the car, snapping at the driver to take him home. 

\--

Lying in bed, Louis thought about all the shit he'd gone through to get famous. To be the person he was and be able to do the things he could do. He loved performing and he adored his fans but a life denying who he was was never one Louis strived to lead. 

He stared at his television and all the other wildly extravagant and expensive things in his house, thinking: if I could give all this shit up and have Harry, I think I would. 

He remembered the speech his mom had given him the day they'd told him he was a finalist on the X Factor.

"Louis, I want you to know, you can live this life as largely and crazily and stupidly as you want to, but the second you stop loving it, the second this isn't what you want for yourself or it messes with something you want more, you can back out. Never put this above your happiness, because son. That's all that's ever mattered." 

Louis sat straight up in bed thanked God for giving him a wise mother. He ran down the stairs and grabbed his keys off the counter before remembering he had a live talk show that day. Setting his keys back down slowly, a plan began to formulate in his mind. 

\--

As the driver who'd been sent to pick up Louis for the show pulled into the studio lot, Louis jumped out. Repeating his plan over and over in his mind. 

He walked up to Mike and Sean, chipper for once and kissed them both on the cheek 

"It's a great day to be alive, boys!" 

He made his way back into makeup and sat down in the chair, talking the ear off anyone who would listen. Going on about his new love interest and how wonderful they were, detailing the summer they'd spent together and how he couldn't imagine life without them. Careful not to mention whether it was a boy or girl though, everyone was charmed and congratulated him on his happiness. 

Finally it was time to go out and be seated with the interviewers. As the camera man counted down on his fingers, Louis couldn't help but smile. 

"And we're on" he mouthed.

"Gooooood morning London, we're hoping you're having a fabulous one as we certainly are."

"We're seated here with young pop sensation Louis Tomlinson this morning. Now tell me Louis, how are you feeling today?"

Louis smiled back, "Very well. Pretty perfect I would say actually." 

"Well that's just wonderful, now. To start off with the questions, I believe we've had quite the buzz backstage about a certain lover of yours. I hear she has you quite fuzzed up!" The interviewer smiled but in that way interviewers do when they're looking for gossip. Louis could have laughed.

"He." He replied. 

"Pardon?" The interviewer asked.

"It's a he."

"Yes um, who is my dear?" This interviewer really was daft.

"My lover, madam. My lover is a he. And I do love him very much." 

"Oh! .... Um" the interviewers looked at each other and then at their crew who looked at Louis's team who was seething. This time Louis did laugh.

"You see, I've been doing this thing for a bit of time. Quite a few of my young years actually and I haven't once been allowed to be honest with those who brought me to this place. My name is Louis Tomlinson, I am a world famous pop star and I'm also-" Louis hesitated, looking out at the live viewers and back towards the camera. He took a deep breath and continued. 

"Gay." 

Gasps were heard from all around and he knew he'd be hurried off soon so he spewed the next bit of his speech as fast as possible. 

"I know this is shocking but I can't keep this part of me hidden anymore, it's affecting my happiness and that not okay! I've fallen in love with a boy and I'm afraid he has entirely the wrong impression of me. His name is Harry Styles and if you run into him would you please send him my way? Also!" Louis was shouting as people began to crowd the camera, trying to turn it off. "I love all of you and I accept you as long as you accept me! I'll keep performing forever if only you'll be okay with it!" 

The camera man shouted over the roar of applause and shouting managers, "Aaaaaand we're out!" 

Louis ran offstage to grab his keys and find the boy he'd just sacrificed pretty much his whole life for when Harry stepped out from behind the curtain, Carl following him.

"It ain't right what they did to you kid. You deserve to be happy." Carl was looking at his feet and Louis's eyes welled up with tears of happiness. He sprinted to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace.

"Thank you, Carl." He whispered.

"Yeah yeah..." Carl hugged him back for a moment then pushed him off, waddling back towards the commotion. 

Louis whipped around to see Harry, eyes full of tears, watching him.

"You- you left..." He said.

Louis allowed one tear to fall. Shaking his head he replied, "I thought I was protecting you-" 

Then Harry did the one thing Louis never expected, and the warm sting of being slapped covered Louis's face, shortly followed by familiar lips being pressed firmly against his own. 

"I love you, you arse face" Harry whispered against his mouth.

"And I-"

"Shhh, you're garbage at talking." And he kissed him. Which is all Louis ever really needed to be happy after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you'd like an epilogue and any questions you'd like answered <3


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